Dont look back, Keep Walking!!!!!

A few months ago I qualified as a lawyer and I was called to the Nigerian Bar. Although it has always been my childhood dream, it felt and still feels like a bit of an anti climax. Perhaps, its what I had to experience before I could accomplish the goal.


Right from about the age of 9 or so I decided that I was going to be a lawyer. When other kids were changing their future ambition and hoping to be teachers, actors, firemen/policemen, lawyers, doctors and Michael Jackson all in one day, I stuck to my law and never wavered. While they were watching Tom and Jerry and other cartoons, I was busy watching law drama series and movies.


I watched Denzel Washington’s outstanding performance as Tom Hanks lawyer in the movie, "Philadelphia". In that role, Denzel was everything I hoped to be: charming, persuasive, eloquent and forthright – I was convinced I had found my calling. My most memorable part of the movie is when Denzel cross examines a witness and then ends with “Explain that to me like I am a four year old” after he has nailed the witness. I would go into our bathroom and pretend that it was a courtroom with the toothpaste on the left as the jury and the toothbrush on the right serving as the Judge and the mirror would be the witness that I was cross examining. I would also end my stellar performance in front of the mirror with “explain it to me like I am a four year old”.



By the time I got into secondary school, I was more aware about the happenings in the country. Abacha was the Head of State and his greatest opposition was from the lawyers. In particular one man stood out, the late Gani Fawehinmi. He was known as the conscience of the nation. My muslim name is Gani and so when anyone asked why I wanted to be a lawyer, I would be like “Duh, my name is Gani” as if everyone whose name is Gani is a lawyer or destined to be one. My Dad took me to the chambers of a prominent lawyer and told him I wanted to be a lawyer. The lawyer gave me advice and the most money I had ever received in my life at that time. I thought that if a lawyer could give so much money to a young boy he was meeting for the first time, the lawyer and all lawyers must be very rich. "I must to be a lawyer o! Who know want plenty money!!!! "


As I was a shy kid, I began to participate in public speaking contests, drama and debates to polish my lawyerly skills. I also started speaking like a lawyer, in other words, chatting shit or twisting arguments. If someone in school said something nasty about me, I would say “you have just slandered me”. If someone said something untrue, I would shout “fallacy”. If I was caught disobeying the school rules and I was asked to explain myself, I would say “I plead the fifth”. If anyone complimented me for what I wore or anything else , instead of saying thank you, I would say “guilty as charged”.


Eventually, I got into university to study my darling law. The first week was like hell. I found the lectures so boooooooooring. I thought it would get better but it got worse. My mind wandered during every lecture and I really became disillusioned with law. It was a struggle reading my textbooks – I read everything else but my textbooks. Nonetheless, I scaled through my first and second year exams. However, in my final year, I made a silly mistake during the exam period that cost me dearly and so I failed. I couldn’t graduate with my peers and I would have to redo my finals the next summer. I felt crushed. I had never had to do redo exams since I started primary school and it particularly hurt that it was when I was on the verge of getting my law degree that this had to happen.


I didn’t know how to handle it all and I was terribly sad although I maintained a strong exterior. My family was wonderful. They stood by me and encouraged me. My Dad told me that even in my pain, I must learn to share in other people’s joy – He gave me money and asked me to host friends who were graduating in the flat. I obeyed him and for three consecutive weekends, I had a mini shindig for graduating friends. Some of these friends were great too. They were churning positive phrases by the second - “delay is not denial”, “its not how low a man falls but how high he rises again", "turn your hurts into halos", "turn your failure into fortune" etc etc etc. They might as well have been speaking Swahili or talking dirty- all their words were going right over my head.


I just kept wondering why ? why me ? why now? I took my finals again the next year and I passed but it wasn’t like I had exceptional results. I never quite recovered from the pain of the previous year. Sometimes life is going to hit you with a brick. It really comes in different forms and it could be failure, loss, regret, sickness or whatever. Dont make the mistake I made : dont wallow in self pity and be so focused on the pain or loss that you let the past hurt your present and jeopardise the future. Christians will say "let go and let God!"and it has always worked for me. My God has been incredibly faithful.



Sadly, this blog has to come to an end. It was supposed to be a journal about my law school experience for most of my friends who are not here. Truth be told, my friends hardly read the blog. If there are no pictures of hot chicks, its hard to get them to read anything. However, fellow bloggers read and commented most times. I am grateful to you all, you made blogging fun. I wish you all the best as you walk your unique path through life: remember dont look back, just keep walking!